usedlaserbeam | Entries tagged with polite does not equal nice

Two years. And to think I was told my stay here had a good chance of being 'temporary'.

Still, I suppose ferrying a small batch of unadopted Pokemon eggs over to Souji-kun's Breeding Center and then spending the rest of the day in the comfort of what's come to be my "own home" is still preferable to spending it mass-evolving a brood of six rambunctious Eevees, and decidedly superior to the circumstances new trainers customarily find themselves in when they first arrive.

It's a small concession, I suppose, to the much more desirable option of returning home properly — but then, I suppose Johto does have its certain advantages as well.

Shall we have a match today, Niou-kun?

[OOC: There are still free eggs left if anyone is interested in claiming one!]

[So it was always a given that one day Yagyuu's texting-under-the-counter-while-at-work-to-alleviate-the-boredom habits were going to get him in trouble one day, and apparently that day is today; in his haste to pocket his Gear and address the latest trainer to enter the Goldenrod Pokemon Center and approach the front desk, he accidentally hits the audio record button instead of the power switch.

And thus, the network is treated to the rare opportunity to eavesdrop on precisely the kind of inanity Yagyuu regularly deals with at work.]

Hey, uh...hi. Hi, there.

Hello. Welcome to the Goldenrod Pokemon Center; may I ask how we might assist you today?

Yeah! It's my rare Pokemon. I think there's something wrong with her, 'cause she keeps going out.

...I beg your pardon. Your rare — you mean your Oddish.

Hey, not just any Oddish! She's one of a kind! Uh, when she stays lit.

When she stays...lit.

Right! She's a super rare Grass/Fire type! That's why I think there's something wrong. You know Charmanders will die if their tail flame goes out? I think maybe that's like what's wrong with her, is like...her flame keeps going out, and that's why she looks all. Fainted and stuff. Can you guys help her?

[There is a pronounced, prolonged beat of silence here, during which Yagyuu is probably trying very hard to hold his expression steady.]

( Cut for References to Oblivious Cruelty to an Oddish and Egregious Failures at Pokemon Logic )

[Another, far more incredulous beat passes here, because seriously there is not enough WHAT THE HELL in the world.]

...Yes, thank you, that's precisely what I needed to know, I appreciate it.

Great! So can you help her?

Rest assured, you've told me exactly what I needed to hear to ascertain how best to help her. If you'll just be so kind as to have a seat right over there in our waiting room, I'll have Nurse Joy see to your...highly rare Oddish as soon as possible.

Oh, wow! Thanks, man! You got it, I'll be right over here.

[A set of footsteps shuffle across linoleum, and there is a brief whimper of Diiiiish as what is presumably Yagyuu's share of movement begins to rustle fabric near the microphone of the Gear. Shortly thereafter, a sotto voce mutter follows.]

Likewise, I imagine we'll be having Officer Jenny see to you as soon as possible...

[Some more shuffling ensues, and then at last the shifting and movement is enough to jostle the Gear off.]

[OOC: A few notes for this post: Italics are a hapless NPC trainer (or Rocket?), regular text is Yagyuu. He'll be answering replies a little while after this post, since he's understandably busy right now. Also, please note the cut warning! There are no graphic descriptions of anything, but if discussion of and references to an NPC trainer carelessly being an asshole to his Pokemon is discomforting to you, please play it safe and pass this post by! Likewise, if there are serious concerns, please take it up with me by PM and I'll pull the post altogether, no problem.]

In the interest of expediency, I intend to make this advertisement a concise one. Please forgive the brevity; I've merely learned through considerable experience that in situations like this, a simple solution is generally the best.

I've found myself once again in possession of a fair number of eggs. I'll be attaching a list of their types at the end of this post; please consider adopting one, as I would highly prefer to find good homes for them, and regrettably haven't the capacity to keep them myself.

Thank you for your consideration in this matter.

ATT: EggList.doc

[It's a beautiful day in Cianwood City! The weather is warm! The sun is shining! (And let's be honest, all the happy vibes in the air sure aren't hurting anything, either) And thanks to some convenient teleportation shenanigans, Yagyuu and his Pokemon have found themselves back on the Cianwood beach once more, sunning themselves and enjoying the day.

There's quite a lot of bustle going on in the background of the video, including a Rapidash and a Stantler walking leisurely up and down the beach (taking a long walk, perhaps?) and a Quagsire waddling around poking at rocks with a cheerful air. But perhaps the most romantic sight of all is that of the bright red Octillery and the bright blue Dragonair in the foreground, curled up together and snuggling in a giant mass of primary-colored tentacles and noodly appendages.

Which is all well and good, right up until a beautifully-plumed Milotic comes swimming up onto the beach, fanning out his tail like a preening peacock and beginning to slither amorously toward the noodly pair in the sand. A brief exchange seems to take place: the stereotypical, "Hey, baby, what's a cute girl like you doing with a guy like that?"

And sadly, it seems to work; shy and slightly mortified, the Octillery seems to deflate, noodling himself a little deeper into the sand. The Dragonair, on the other hand...well, she's apparently having none of this.

And proceeds to demonstrate exactly how she feels about some jackass Milotic rolling up like he thinks he's hot shit and making trouble in her neighborhood by dissing her boyfriend.

Via judicious application of percussive explanation.

One exceedingly fierce and noodly battle later, there is an unconscious Milotic (twenty feet long, three hundred fiftysome pounds) in the sand, one incredibly angry Dragonair (thirteen feet long, thirty-five pounds) still beating the ever-living daylights out of its inert body, and one incredibly overwhelmed Octillery looking like he's just fallen in love all over again.]

~
[Later, a text message appears on the Gear network.]

Ah, it seems as though this past Valentine's Day was a successful one on many accounts. Did all the hopeful admirers manage to find a sweetheart to reciprocate their feelings, I wonder?

[This afternoon, on a Very Special Broadcast™ courtesy of Yagyuu's PokeGear, the Gear network is treated to the sight of the Goldenrod Gym's interior, where Yagyuu and Whitney appear to somewhere in the midst of the preliminary discussion that traditionally precedes a gym challenge — except that, given the few small snippets of dialogue that manage to filter their way over to the microphone, this particular conversation isn't quite as traditional as most: ]

Oh, that jersey! Hey, you live here in Goldenrod, don't you?

Yes, that's right. My teammates and I have a house here.

Right, I remember seeing those jerseys around the city! [A giggle.] Some of your friends have come to challenge me before.

Ah, have they really? I hope you found them worthy opponents.

Well, one of them was! The one with the seaweed hair. [Another giggle.] He put up a much better fight than the one I beat a few months ago.

[And what follows that remark is a sharp, dangerous silence as the words sink in, the implications are spun out, and Yagyuu gradually puts two and two together—the figure of a few months, the team members he knows haven't challenged the gym, the ones remaining who it might've been—and finds that no, he really doesn't like the way they're adding up.

There's a oddly different tone in his voice when he speaks again, some underlying quality that's almost impossible to place—unless, of course, you happen to be familiar enough with Yagyuu to know what usually follows his words when they come in a tone like that.]

In that case, I hope you'll find me a worthwhile challenge. Shall we begin?

Okay, but I'm warning you—I'm good!

( And A Gym Battle Commences! )

[Some time later, in the aftermath, there is a constantly-shifting parade of fur, hooves, and feathers obscuring the camera of the Gear, but the soft patter of rain suggests that the scene has moved somewhere outdoors, and Yagyuu's voice is unmistakable.]

The two of you did well. An intentional defeat to achieve the most desirable circumstances for victory...it's an equally valuable contribution. I could hardly ask for more.

[There is a pause, and the familiar sound of a pair of Pokemon being recalled to their balls. And then, shortly thereafter, Yagyuu's supremely satisfied voice comes through again.]

So this is the Plain Badge.

[OOC: Mod-approved badge get! Pink text is, predictably, Whitney, and blue is Yukimura, used here with permission! o/]

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Yagyuu Hiroshi

June 2020

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