usedlaserbeam | ??? | Goldenrod Radio Tower

[Ladies and gentlemen of Johto, we interrupt your regularly scheduled programming this evening for a Very Special Radio Broadcast™, coming to you direct from Goldenrod Radio Tower...and conveniently lacking in all those pesky little bits of red tape like authorization and advance permission that just get in the way of the show.

As such, the usual Pokemon favorites are conspicuously absent; they've been replaced by something a bit more palatable to the discerning listener. Tangos, jazz, the occasional rondo here and there. And the usual DJs? Yes, well, it turns out they've been replaced by something a bit more palatable, too. Namely, a pair of troublemakers calling themselves

futariniousama and

usedlaserbeam.

First up, a sultry alto (which may seem oddly familiar to a few of you), sounding perhaps more suited to a phone sex hotline than a radio station host: ]

"Evening, Johto~ Are you ready for a very special treat? Because have we got a surprise for you~"

[Then, following that alto, a deeper voice proceeds to chime in—one that a very select few might recognize as sounding very familiar to one Atobe Keigo.]

"And you should all feel honored for the once-in-a-lifetime experience you're about to be given."

[And without missing a beat, the voice switches back—]

"See, we've decided to borrow your airwaves for a little while. Oh, don't worry! We'll take good care of them, promise~"

"Tonight, instead of the usual mundane drivel you people normally content yourselves with—"

"—we're gonna turn up the heat a little bit—"

"—and bring some culture back into your poor, wanting lives."

[And as the first song cues, feel free to just sit back, enjoy the music, revel in the change of pace—or if you're really feeling moved, why not call in? The lines are open, the DJs are waiting, and they'd just love to hear what you have to say. Or, if there's some burning question that's on your mind, why not phone it in to tonight's premiere of Ask Ore-sama, and let him offer his worldly advice to you?

Regardless, we hope you enjoy the show, because all good things must end and the sweetest treats always come with an expiration date. In this case, that'd be the unmistakable sound of the Kangaskhan Cops storming the building—

—But never fear, folks. If there's one thing your hosts know how to do, it's make an exit.]

[OOC: And now, for the tl;dr explanation of these mod-approved shenanigans! Basically, Yagyuu and Niou share a mutual anniversary in Johto, and they've decided to celebrate it by hijacking the radio tower and running an impromptu radio show for an hour or two this evening. Characters are free to tune in, react accordingly, phone in to the radio station via their Gears, etc! The show itself will end rather abruptly when the Kangaskhan Cops arrive and our dastardly duo makes their escape. But hey, an inch is as good as a mile, and a narrow getaway is still a getaway, right? But they won't leave Jenny and her Kangaskhan high and dry, either; local law enforcement will find a polite note left behind for them, courtesy of 'Bonnie and Clyde'.

HOW TO TAG THIS POST:
▶ REACTION: Feel free to tag with reactions, thread amongst yourselves, etc.! No actual contact with Yagyuu and Niou necessary.
▶ CALL IN: If you'd like to call in to the radio show and give them a piece of your mind, put "Call: General" in the header of your comment! Voice correspondence only, please.
▶ ASK ORE-SAMA: A variant on just calling in—if your characters would like to participate in the "Ask Ore-sama" talk show segment, put "Call: Ask Ore-sama" in the header of your comment and ask your questions! The topic of the night is relationship advice~

Also please note—Yagyuu and Niou are thorough in their disguises and should not be recognizable as anything other than their currently borrowed identities. People who saw That One Hot Chick revealed as Niou, or who are aware of Atobe's absence, are welcome to have their suspicions about who's really up there, but anyone trying to out them on-air will be hung up upon!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Someone had to, clearly! Although at this point I'm not so sure it's about wisdom but tact.

[Yet another thing Atobe is flagrantly lacking in. Which means Yagyuu must be, too.]

Perhaps you'd like to call back when you're less confused, then, hm~?

I'm sure it wouldn't take much to figure it out, given your attitude!

Boys, boys~ ♥

Let's take the testosterone down a notch or two, hmm? No need to fight. There's enough culture and class here to go around! And I don't mind entertaining two.

[Laughing.] I'd hardly call this a testosterone-driven situation at all. But please, do entertain if you think you can!

Oh, honey. I said I didn't mind entertaining two. I never said one of them was going to be you.

[ Sweet and condescending: ] Try being a little more polite and a little less of a douchebag next time, okay? There's not enough room on the air for two conceited pricks.

[ And he'll be ending this call now! Of course, Izaya's free to call back and continue the torment. ♥ ]

[Which he will. Because he really can't resist any form of entertainment, even if it's like this.]

Two rude radio hosts... really, you'd think they're hiring people with no professional experience with attitudes like that.

[He doesn't actually know what the situation is, but he can only guess from the way the broadcast is set up that it's not the work of a native.]

Hiring? [ He giggles a little, malicious. ] We volunteered. We're enlightening the masses out of the goodness of our hearts!

[ Or because they're bored. Your choice. ]

[Well, this is making things a bit easier to piece together.]

And then each passing moment made your situation more evident! It's always impressive how just a few words can reveal circumstances.

You want a medal, honey? We did say we borrowed the airwaves. You're not much of a detective if you're just now figuring it out~ ♥

Right, right. Because of course, there's no possible way that you can say that while legitimately having access. Nobody ever uses phrases like that!

[A small fit of laughter, which cuts short to being serious.] Really, I thought a radio-takeover would have been more entertaining.

Maybe if you're a good boy, we'll cater to you specifically for our next trick.

[ He sounds only dryly amused now, but the saccharine sarcasm is still prevalent. ]

Oh, what an honor that would be, I'm sure!

Well, at the very least, it'd stop your bitching, I'd hope!

Your idea of "bitching" and mine must be very different, then!

All you've done since you called in is complain about our alleged 'lack of culture.' If that's not bitching, honey, I'm not sure what qualifies.

Tone, really. [He laughs.] I'd say it was probably more condescending than bitchy.

Oh, is that what it was? My mistake~ ♥

Now that we've got that settled, I'm afraid I'm going to have to stop subjecting the rest of our listeners to your condescension. ♥ Thank you for your call!

[ Aaaaand hanging up again. Not that Izaya can't still call back, but I can't promise he won't get hung up on pretty promptly, lmao. He is a fantastic douchebag. ♥ ]

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