usedlaserbeam | 004 | Goldenrod City

Entry tags:

004 | Goldenrod City | Video / Action;

[Well, Johto, in a slight change of pace, this video is not coming to you today courtesy of PhantomCam™; in truth, it's actually sort of more like Lady's-Paw-Landed-On-The-Record-ButtonCam™, and the accidental nature of the recording shows. The vast majority of the shot shows a tilted, haphazard view of a bedroom (a very neat bedroom, an observant viewer might note), and only a small sliver actually manages to catch Yagyuu, who appears to have set his backpack down on the bed and is methodically extracting the contents.

(Every so often, this view ends up marred by what seems to be a tuft of tawny brown fur, or the occasional pink tail feather.)

Yagyuu, however, seems reasonably oblivious to being recorded, his attention fixed on the series of items he's removing from his backpack, one by one: a notebook and pen, a novel with a slightly dog-eared cover, a roll of grip tape, a tennis racket that he places aside with the utmost of care. With an Eevee and what eventually reveals itself as a Pidgeotto bustling around on the bed, he's clearly not taking any chances that it might get damaged.

This patient, deliberate ritual of unpacking goes on in silence for a minute or two, Yagyuu still apparently ignorant to the fact that he's on candid camera, when at last something shifts: he reaches into the bag and his expression abruptly turns to one of surprise and mild disgust. And when he yanks his hand back out of it, a sticky mass of purple goop (which is now partially encasing his hand) comes with it.

Eyes narrowed, he gives his hand a rather adamant shake, but the goo doesn't dislodge; on the contrary, it spreads a little wider and smiles at him.

A harder shake. It remains unfazed.

And then at last, with a long-suffering sigh, Yagyuu turns away from the camera and stalks out of sight, footsteps firm against the carpet as he apparently makes his way toward the room's door.]

Niou-kun...

[The door closes (it's not quite a slam, but it is perhaps a little more firm than was really necessary) and the Pokemon on the bed begin to shuffle around, and somewhere in the commotion another paw hits the Gear and the feed ends.]

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[...This is just. Silence.]

I'm already being assaulted by one Pokemon. You want to subject me to another?

[brightest smile]

If there is any good in this world, shouldn't the two evils cancel each other out?

[...In retrospect, it really is so much easier to deal with Fuji when he doesn't have to look at that smile. No wonder the text is so much more preferable.

He shakes his head, flicking his wrist experimentally one more time.]

On the contrary, I believe they're far more likely to stack.

[he watches the motion curiously. it's dismissive.]

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Don't make me break out the cheesy, motivational idioms.

[And then, without warning, the Ditto suddenly drips, still smiling cheerfully as it begins to extend down toward the floor, farther and farther--and then lands with a plop.

And Yagyuu is just. Staring.]

...I hope that doesn't imply its obedience is commanded by cheesy motivational idioms.

[a beat. two. then, delighted laughter, and he bends down to give the ditto a friendly look. his Raichu makes a disgruntled sound, and discreetly shuffles a little further away against the wall.]

It takes all kinds! If hair-iron monopolizing ghosts exist, a sap of a ditto can't be too far of a stretch.

[Personally, Yagyuu's with the Raichu on this one; the Ditto, on the other hand, appears delighted at the new, close proximity of this person, and begins to slide across the floor like greased lightning, aiming for Fuji's shoes.]

Ah, good, it's taking to you instead. Return it to Niou-kun the next time you see him, won't you?

[he wrinkles his nose a little, but for reasons less mundane than just distaste at a purple blob of goo heading for him. but he remains obediently still.]

I would, if the prospect of giving Niou two dittos was in any way appealing to me.

[And that gets Yagyuu to blink a little, even as the Ditto zips across the floor and launches itself at Fuji's ankle, clinging like a monkey to a tree trunk.]

Two-- [A pause.] ...It's not his?

[he chuckles a little, not seemingly put-off by the advance. merely reaches down with a finger affectionately.

then, a quirk of an eyebrow.]

Your first clue should've been that you didn't end up becoming Yagyuu Scissorhands, really.

[It's quite a friendly Ditto, but Fuji may need to be careful; it has a penchant for getting inside things and squirreling around, armholes of clothing included.

For Yagyuu's part, now that he's really looking--and not afflicted with purple goo all over his hand--the slight differences are beginning to show. Niou's Ditto is infuriating, yes, but this one has an odd sort of enthusiasm to it, a variety that's somehow subtly different from that of his partner's.]

And that's how you could tell?

[he gives the ditto a thoughtful look, as though considering the pros and cons of fiddling around with it (or perhaps contemplating mass murder-- you never know with a smile like that). it seems like an energetic little thing, which isn't reassuring in dittos, but on the other hand, he is curious as to what little quirks this one brings to the table. is it the worth the curiosity? hm.

seemingly preoccupied with his thoughts, his reply is absent--]

Think of it this way. If this was a ditto raised and taught by a certain Niou Masaharu, would a sticky hand really be your only complaint?

[And up Fuji's leg the Ditto goes, gooping along with that same rapid speed once again.

Yagyuu, meanwhile, is finding himself quietly biting back a "Yes" in answer to Fuji's question--because really, if it were Niou's Ditto, that's all it would take and Niou would know that. If the point were a trick, he'd know exactly how far to push.

And if the point were a trick...well, he'd be here to see it, wouldn't he?]

Ah. So your reasoning is intuitive, not factual.

[he's just about to reply with something vague and fairly unhelpful, perhaps even in metaphor, when he feels it... climb.

he opens his mouth. closes it, and refocuses on the ditto with something like surprise. in hindsight, he should've realized that it would've been so forward, really. within a span of half a second, he feels the uncomfortable sensation of something shotting up his shorts, and. well.

an uncomfortable pause.]

No, now it's factual.

[...WELP. This entire scenario just got roughly a hundred times more awkward, only made worse by the fact that this is Yagyuu and Fuji, whose combined physical-touch issues could fill oceans.

...He's not going in after it. No, sir.]

Undoubtedly.

[He clears his throat.]

I'll-- [FLEE TO THE NEAREST SAFE HAVEN] --ah, step out and let you...

[...Yeah.]

[Fuji, for his part, blinks slowly, before getting up from his crouched position. there is a glint in his eye that promises terrible retribution if you even think of taking a step towards that elevator.

pleasantly.]

Leaving so soon? I don't think we [a pause, here, grimace, it's moving] are quite finished here.

[That right there? That is a look Yagyuu has never seen in Fuji's eyes before, but it's one he recognizes--in that primal, instinctive way, like spotting the colors of a poison dart frog or hearing the rattle of a snake from far closer proximity than one is precisely comfortable with.

In retrospect, it's something he'll find intriguing and appreciate in Fuji. At the moment, he's working on studiously avoiding certain death.]

Do you really want an audience while you attempt to get rid of it?

Edited 2011-07-31 19:56 (UTC)

Audience? Oh, no. [smile, all teeth.] Audience implies passivity.

[0% to do with the prospect of your hands down his pants, and 100% to do with the fact that the last thing he wants right now is your ditto down his pants while you're behind a door somewhere giggling in the spirit of Schadenfreude.]

Edited 2011-07-31 21:09 (UTC)

[And you know, in the face of such a choice, death is almost starting to look preferable. Because there is no way in the entire world, ever, ever, that Yagyuu's hands are getting anywhere near the location of that Ditto at its current state of rest.

(For what it's worth, his hands wouldn't be going near it for anyone at the moment, even his own teammates. There are limits.)

Which means the only way to get out of this is by finding another way of getting that Ditto out of Fuji's pants, one without the necessity of hands-on interaction.]

Perhaps your high-powered hose will come in handy, after all. Drowning it out might suffice.

[if you've never seen Fuji hiss, you've just been enlightened. the idea of a hose down his pants is arguably almost as bad as a ditto down his pants, which is perhaps saying something about his priorities.]

Doesn't that sound like a fine idea. Yagyuu, need I remind you that your new friend is down my pants.

[No, he really needn't remind Yagyuu, as it's not like he's going to forget that little fact anytime soon. But it's the situation that brings a slight edge of irritability to his tone, because Fuji seems adamant about forcing this toward a false dilemma, and surely reaching into his pants is not the only answer here.]

Need I remind you that it was your idea in the first place. And is it really necessary to prolong the suffering on everyone's part instead of one of us simply stepping out so it can be dealt with?

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