usedlaserbeam | 004 | Goldenrod City

[Well, Johto, in a slight change of pace, this video is not coming to you today courtesy of PhantomCam™; in truth, it's actually sort of more like Lady's-Paw-Landed-On-The-Record-ButtonCam™, and the accidental nature of the recording shows. The vast majority of the shot shows a tilted, haphazard view of a bedroom (a very neat bedroom, an observant viewer might note), and only a small sliver actually manages to catch Yagyuu, who appears to have set his backpack down on the bed and is methodically extracting the contents.

(Every so often, this view ends up marred by what seems to be a tuft of tawny brown fur, or the occasional pink tail feather.)

Yagyuu, however, seems reasonably oblivious to being recorded, his attention fixed on the series of items he's removing from his backpack, one by one: a notebook and pen, a novel with a slightly dog-eared cover, a roll of grip tape, a tennis racket that he places aside with the utmost of care. With an Eevee and what eventually reveals itself as a Pidgeotto bustling around on the bed, he's clearly not taking any chances that it might get damaged.

This patient, deliberate ritual of unpacking goes on in silence for a minute or two, Yagyuu still apparently ignorant to the fact that he's on candid camera, when at last something shifts: he reaches into the bag and his expression abruptly turns to one of surprise and mild disgust. And when he yanks his hand back out of it, a sticky mass of purple goop (which is now partially encasing his hand) comes with it.

Eyes narrowed, he gives his hand a rather adamant shake, but the goo doesn't dislodge; on the contrary, it spreads a little wider and smiles at him.

A harder shake. It remains unfazed.

And then at last, with a long-suffering sigh, Yagyuu turns away from the camera and stalks out of sight, footsteps firm against the carpet as he apparently makes his way toward the room's door.]

Niou-kun...

[The door closes (it's not quite a slam, but it is perhaps a little more firm than was really necessary) and the Pokemon on the bed begin to shuffle around, and somewhere in the commotion another paw hits the Gear and the feed ends.]

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[presumably, he meets Fuji in the hallway. the latter appears to be on his way out, and there is a Raichu shuffling about by his feet, making disgruntled noises. it's sporting a pair of heart-shaped frames on the bridge of his nose, and those turn to Yagyuu with a petulant 'chuu'. Fuji tilts his head, hand half-way up in idle greeting.

he takes one look at Yagyuu, at Yagyuu's countenance, and then at Yagyuu's hand-- and chuckles.]

Trouble in paradise?

[Under normal circumstances, he might comment on the Raichu's rather unfortunate attire, but at the moment Yagyuu's a little preoccupied with purple goo all over his hand and nothing he is doing appears to be successful at getting it off.

And it's squishy. Squishy and won't stop smiling.]

It seems I had a surprise stowed away in my backpack today.

Another victory for a Ditto, huh. Those guys are good.

[This response comes a little delayed, since he's got to walk outside, try to scrape off the Ditto, and then return seemingly successfully shortly thereafter.]

Another victory for someone, at least.

[ DITTOS. B| ]

[squishy and won't stop smiling. doesn't that sound familiar. Fuji, for his part, isn't too much in a hurry to bridge the gap between them, preferring to run his hands over the mustard yellow wallpaper whimsically as he approaches slowly.]

Mm, is that a variation on the 'but it followed me home, can we keep it' appeal?

It's a variation on someone's idea of a joke, I'd imagine.

[It is Sugar, isn't it? Purple, clingy, obnoxious? It's the most reasonable explanation, at least.]

Niou-kun?

[A shrug.]

I assume it's his. Fortunately, I doubt some time outside will hurt it, and he can recollect it at his leisure.

[this gives him pause. ... it's not his, is it? tilting his head as he considers this!]

You didn't have to peel it off the wall, did you?

[The trouble with Dittos is they all have a knack for looking alike, sometimes quite literally. If this one decided to transform and managed to turn something other than purple, it might give itself away, but for now the combination of generic purple goo and Yagyuu's displeasure has given way to assumption. Albeit a slightly incorrect one.]

No. Though I wouldn't mind getting it off my hand.

[As he shakes it emphatically, and nothing happens.]

[ah, that at least confirms that it's not his own. Salt fits under the generic description of ditto-hood, no matter how you cut it, but it generally wasn't this active, and it certainly didn't pass up a chance to plaster itself all over someone else's wall. therefore he figures that it's safe to say that the ditto isn't his, and so any ounce of innocence on his part won't have to be entirely feigned.

a glance of amusement.]

Why? If you could teach it a few new tricks, you could easily be the next Yagyuu Scissorhands.

I'm sure it's been taught more than enough tricks on its own, without any such contributions from me.

[Could he scrape it off? Maybe not with his other hand, that'd defeat the purpose, but maybe with a stick or...?]

And this isn't exactly comfortable, anyway.

[the line of conversation isn't difficult to read-- he hums.]

Have you tried using a cheese grater?

If I wanted to lose my fingers, I'd take Kirihara-kun's old suggestion and use Phantom's blade, instead.

[Grump grump grump.]

You mean you haven't? A little threat goes a long way.

I'd sooner get rid of it without violence, thank you.

[And without actually hurting what he assumes is Niou's Ditto, but he's not mentioning that part.]

Correction-- the illusion of violence. [a shrug, here, though.] On the other hand, you could always sacrifice something to it.

[Normally, he'd gladly rise to the opportunity for banter, but today he is cranky and his hand is encased in purple goo, so he's slightly less fun than he normally might be.]

Or I could take it outside and scrape it off, which is what I intend to do.

Nonsense. This would be a fantastic chance to find out just what a ditto on a hand can withstand.

Should I go get a high-powered jet hose?

With me as the lab rat, I presume. Do we even have a high-powered jet hose?

You ask the strangest questions. We're in the land of pokemon. Why wouldn't we?

[...This is just. Silence.]

I'm already being assaulted by one Pokemon. You want to subject me to another?

[brightest smile]

If there is any good in this world, shouldn't the two evils cancel each other out?

[...In retrospect, it really is so much easier to deal with Fuji when he doesn't have to look at that smile. No wonder the text is so much more preferable.

He shakes his head, flicking his wrist experimentally one more time.]

On the contrary, I believe they're far more likely to stack.

Awww, but it looked like it really liked you...

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004 | Goldenrod City | Video / Action;

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