Yagyuu Hiroshi (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
usedlaserbeam) wrote2013-05-05 05:49 pm
usedlaserbeam) wrote2013-05-05 05:49 pm
Entry tags:
- always glorious always victorious,
- at least it's the off-season,
- being yagyuu is suffering,
- brb screaming like a little girl,
- but seriously what the actual hell,
- charming disarming and quite alarming,
- forever surrounded by idiots,
- i am fifteen and what is this,
- legitimate employment is go,
- my pokeymans let me show you them,
- no really i'm the responsible one,
- no tennis no life,
- polite does not equal nice,
- repeat after me: i need a vacation,
- sending out an sos,
- shit my stupid customers say,
- such a nice boy,
- teammates whaaaar,
- the gentleman is not amused,
- you had one job trainer-san,
- ▶ goldenrod city
031 | Goldenrod City | Audio;
[So it was always a given that one day Yagyuu's texting-under-the-counter-while-at-work-to-alleviate-the-boredom habits were going to get him in trouble one day, and apparently that day is today; in his haste to pocket his Gear and address the latest trainer to enter the Goldenrod Pokemon Center and approach the front desk, he accidentally hits the audio record button instead of the power switch.
And thus, the network is treated to the rare opportunity to eavesdrop on precisely the kind of inanity Yagyuu regularly deals with at work.]
Hey, uh...hi. Hi, there.
Hello. Welcome to the Goldenrod Pokemon Center; may I ask how we might assist you today?
Yeah! It's my rare Pokemon. I think there's something wrong with her, 'cause she keeps going out.
...I beg your pardon. Your rare — you mean your Oddish.
Hey, not just any Oddish! She's one of a kind! Uh, when she stays lit.
When she stays...lit.
Right! She's a super rare Grass/Fire type! That's why I think there's something wrong. You know Charmanders will die if their tail flame goes out? I think maybe that's like what's wrong with her, is like...her flame keeps going out, and that's why she looks all. Fainted and stuff. Can you guys help her?
[There is a pronounced, prolonged beat of silence here, during which Yagyuu is probably trying very hard to hold his expression steady.]
...Yes, of course. If you'll oblige me, I'll simply need to ask you a few further questions. It's standard procedure for all arriving cases, you understand. Ah, how precisely did your Oddish come to...be a Grass/Fire type? Did you find her that way, or...?
Oh, no. I did it myself!
You did it yourself.
Yeah, with a lighter. Y'know, 'cause Fire types are on fire. Like a Ponyta, how it's got its mane all on fire, or like a Charizard with its tail on fire, or a Cyndaquil with its back on fire. She's a Grass/Fire type, so I made her leaves on fire.
With a lighter.
Right.
And then it...fainted.
After the flames went out, right.
[Another, far more incredulous beat passes here, because seriously there is not enough WHAT THE HELL in the world.]
...Yes, thank you, that's precisely what I needed to know, I appreciate it.
Great! So can you help her?
Rest assured, you've told me exactly what I needed to hear to ascertain how best to help her. If you'll just be so kind as to have a seat right over there in our waiting room, I'll have Nurse Joy see to your...highly rare Oddish as soon as possible.
Oh, wow! Thanks, man! You got it, I'll be right over here.
[A set of footsteps shuffle across linoleum, and there is a brief whimper of Diiiiish as what is presumably Yagyuu's share of movement begins to rustle fabric near the microphone of the Gear. Shortly thereafter, a sotto voce mutter follows.]
Likewise, I imagine we'll be having Officer Jenny see to you as soon as possible...
[Some more shuffling ensues, and then at last the shifting and movement is enough to jostle the Gear off.]
[OOC: A few notes for this post: Italics are a hapless NPC trainer (or Rocket?), regular text is Yagyuu. He'll be answering replies a little while after this post, since he's understandably busy right now. Also, please note the cut warning! There are no graphic descriptions of anything, but if discussion of and references to an NPC trainer carelessly being an asshole to his Pokemon is discomforting to you, please play it safe and pass this post by! Likewise, if there are serious concerns, please take it up with me by PM and I'll pull the post altogether, no problem.]
And thus, the network is treated to the rare opportunity to eavesdrop on precisely the kind of inanity Yagyuu regularly deals with at work.]
Hello. Welcome to the Goldenrod Pokemon Center; may I ask how we might assist you today?
Yeah! It's my rare Pokemon. I think there's something wrong with her, 'cause she keeps going out.
...I beg your pardon. Your rare — you mean your Oddish.
Hey, not just any Oddish! She's one of a kind! Uh, when she stays lit.
When she stays...lit.
Right! She's a super rare Grass/Fire type! That's why I think there's something wrong. You know Charmanders will die if their tail flame goes out? I think maybe that's like what's wrong with her, is like...her flame keeps going out, and that's why she looks all. Fainted and stuff. Can you guys help her?
[There is a pronounced, prolonged beat of silence here, during which Yagyuu is probably trying very hard to hold his expression steady.]
Oh, no. I did it myself!
You did it yourself.
Yeah, with a lighter. Y'know, 'cause Fire types are on fire. Like a Ponyta, how it's got its mane all on fire, or like a Charizard with its tail on fire, or a Cyndaquil with its back on fire. She's a Grass/Fire type, so I made her leaves on fire.
With a lighter.
Right.
And then it...fainted.
After the flames went out, right.
[Another, far more incredulous beat passes here, because seriously there is not enough WHAT THE HELL in the world.]
Great! So can you help her?
Rest assured, you've told me exactly what I needed to hear to ascertain how best to help her. If you'll just be so kind as to have a seat right over there in our waiting room, I'll have Nurse Joy see to your...highly rare Oddish as soon as possible.
Oh, wow! Thanks, man! You got it, I'll be right over here.
[A set of footsteps shuffle across linoleum, and there is a brief whimper of Diiiiish as what is presumably Yagyuu's share of movement begins to rustle fabric near the microphone of the Gear. Shortly thereafter, a sotto voce mutter follows.]
[Some more shuffling ensues, and then at last the shifting and movement is enough to jostle the Gear off.]
[OOC: A few notes for this post: Italics are a hapless NPC trainer (or Rocket?), regular text is Yagyuu. He'll be answering replies a little while after this post, since he's understandably busy right now. Also, please note the cut warning! There are no graphic descriptions of anything, but if discussion of and references to an NPC trainer carelessly being an asshole to his Pokemon is discomforting to you, please play it safe and pass this post by! Likewise, if there are serious concerns, please take it up with me by PM and I'll pull the post altogether, no problem.]
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...Intentionally.
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[For once that's actually not a slight; Hiccup just has a tendency to post from there, from what Yagyuu remembers.]
Perhaps it's simply something about Goldenrod that draws the...questionable sort, though.
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[Sounding uncertain because YEAH, MAKE HIM SEEM ACCIDENT PRONE
because he is sob...]I've heard some weird things, but never anything that insane. How could he not know that was dangerous?
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I haven't the slightest idea. But then, I occasionally read the literature and happen not to be an incompetent ignoramus, which I suppose might have something to do with it.
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[Stupid NPCs: not what Hiccup was expecting to give him a headache today.]
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What's going to happen with the Oddish, now? You said you were going to report the guy to Officer Jenny, right?
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[...Or until someone steals it...]
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[He sighs. Well, it was up to the NPCs, he supposed. And the native police weren't particularly good... Maybe they'd actually do something right.]
Oh well. Good luck with the rest of your customers, I guess.
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